


Billy the Bitch's Pokemon Adventure

by AlyOopsie, Moon_Bear



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Other, don't ask why malibu is mentioned i don't know, i don't remember writing that sentence, it's just pokemon fanfiction if you can even call it that, my friend might have gone into the google doc and added it idk, whoops, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyOopsie/pseuds/AlyOopsie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon_Bear/pseuds/Moon_Bear
Summary: Billy the Bitch starts his pokemon adventure. He's not very smart.





	

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is but here u go

Howdy do this is the story of a bitch named Billy. Billy just turned 10, and he was hyped as fuck to start his pokemon journey. But, Billy was extremely stupid, and had no idea what any pokemon looked like. So, he decided to improvise.

 

“Mommy, mommy, I’m gonna go catch the mall!” Billy wasn’t the brightest of children. His mother was used to Billy’s bullshit by this time, and said, “But, Billy, it’s dangerous out there! Take your little brother, Steven, and this weird, purple rat with you.”

 

And so, Billy the Bitch set off on his Pokémon Adventure™ and went to the mall. 

 

“NOBODY MOVE, THIS ENTIRE BUILDING IS A POKEMON,” shouted Billy, and, wishing to invoke fear into the peoples’ hearts, added, “The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.”

 

It worked. Everybody screamed and got on the ground while Billy the Bitch was catching the mall. He just threw a pokeball at the wall and screamed. That is how you catch pokemon, kids.  
He was somehow successful, and returned to his mother. “Mother, I have caught the mall.” why did his voice change so much he’s 10 and has been gone for less than an hour. Puberty hit him like a truck, because now he had a ridiculously deep voice and was hot. Billy the Bitch was now Billy the Bitch Magnet.

 

“Proof or it didn’t happen.” his mother was still not having any of his shit, so Billy whipped out the pokeball that held the mall and shouted “MALIBU, I CHOOSE YOU” while throwing the pokeball in the air. The entire mall appeared, along with the people who were inside of it. Billy’s mother was pleased, and became the Supreme Queen of the Mall, and nobody was allowed to leave. Billy died like 2 hours later because he shoved a Nerf gun up his ass and shot it. Seven times. Billy was not a smart child.

Steven actually went on a real Pokemon Adventure™ and became a gym leader.

**Author's Note:**

> [ hmu on tumblr ](https://writing-at-dawn-until-dark.tumblr.com/)


End file.
